★ DM BEGGING INDEX™ SCIENTIFICALLY CERTIFIED EST. IN HER INBOX POWERED BY ZERO SELF-AWARENESS ★ DM BEGGING INDEX™ SCIENTIFICALLY CERTIFIED EST. IN HER INBOX POWERED BY ZERO SELF-AWARENESS ★ DM BEGGING INDEX™ SCIENTIFICALLY CERTIFIED EST. IN HER INBOX POWERED BY ZERO SELF-AWARENESS ★ DM BEGGING INDEX™ SCIENTIFICALLY CERTIFIED EST. IN HER INBOX POWERED BY ZERO SELF-AWARENESS

Proprietary Technology

How Many Women Left Him On Read?

Paste his Instagram or LinkedIn URL. Our clinically-certified algorithm will analyze his DM begging frequency, mommy issues coefficient, and estimated situationship body count. In seconds.

His Instagram or LinkedIn URL

* Results are 100% accurate and powered by advanced proprietary science. We are not liable for what you find.

Global Average

Estimated DMs Sent (Unanswered)

247

per man, per year. This is peer-reviewed.

Mommy Issues Index

9.1/10

Average score among men with public LinkedIn

Situationship Risk

94%

probability he will never define the relationship

The Science

How Our Algorithm Works

Paste His Profile

Instagram or LinkedIn. We accept both because men beg on all platforms. Our crawler ingests every data point with zero mercy.

Deep Behavioral Analysis

We cross-reference his follower-to-following ratio, posting frequency at 2am, gym selfie density, and the presence of "no drama" in his bio.

Receive His Index

A full breakdown: DM Begging Estimate, Mommy Issues Coefficient, and his Situationship Risk Score. Delivered in milliseconds. Act accordingly.

What We Measure

Our Proprietary Metrics

Developed over years of observation. Peer-reviewed by women who have been there.

DM Begging Index™

Estimated lifetime count of unrequited DM openers sent. Weighted by use of "hey beautiful," fire emojis, and follow-up messages to unanswered messages.

Mommy Issues Coefficient

Scored 0–10 based on attachment style indicators, inability to regulate emotions, and probability of saying "you're not like other girls."

Situationship Risk Score

Likelihood he will introduce you to his friends as "this is my... friend" at a party despite six months of exclusivity.

Emotional Availability Index

Inverse score. Lower is worse. Derived from shirtless mirror selfies, gym check-ins, and posts about "grindset." Rarely above 1.4.

Analysis Complete for @username

DM Begging Index™

—

estimated unanswered DMs sent

Mommy Issues Coefficient

—

out of 10. Clinically significant above 4.

Situationship Risk Score

—

% probability. Run.

Official Verdict

—

These results are as accurate as any algorithm that judges a human being based on their social media profile.
Which is to say — completely meaningless. Almost like judging a woman's worth by her "body count."

🪞 This tool is satire. No data was collected, analyzed, or stored. We made all of this up — just like the original site did.